Like any normal American female... actually, these days I think that statement can be generalized to any American, in my constant quest to look like something that doesn't exist, I must obsess over exercise AND food... they come in pairs. So... like a life time ago, I bought a Groupon for an unlimited month of BCOR Boot Camp, and I finally cashed it in. I have been going to Spott's Park - which is beautiful, and I didn't know existed until now (probably because its in a valley that the boot camp people like to make us run up and down to the detriment of my gluteus maximus muscles) - at 6:00 AM a few days a week to get my tuchus kicked. A million sets of burpees, jumping squats and mountain climbers later I am plumb tuckered out. Try going to work after that! These are the days I wish my job was a little more like a desk job. Anyway, after all those fat burning calisthenics (mine hasn't seemed to burn so much) my entire body aches and feels like one giant human knot (I look like my grandmother for about two hours after getting out of bed each day). So, naturally, I've had to start taking yoga too.
Now, I like a good yoga class as much as the next gal, but I'm a little Type-A, Left-Brained, whatever euphemism you want to use for uptight, and the loosey goosey flowy mumbo jumbo kinda gets on my nerves. The instructor is always up there talking about things like "heart space", which I take to mean chest - why can't he just say chest; "interlocking toes", I'm sorry, mine don't do that, I'm a homo sapien not a gorilla ; "sit bones"- the leg bone's connected to the what?; and so forth. This morning, I took a fabulous beginners yoga class at Joy Yoga, which turned out to be exactly what I needed - lots of stretching, but the language was all the same. This guy was up there going on and on and on and taking us from one pose to another via transferences of energy. I was totally lost - like Sandra Bullock trying to learn the Miss America dance in Miss Congeniality (If you're cool, you know what I'm talking about). While I'm feeling all nice and stretched out now, next time, I'll remember to take my translator 'cause they don't teach you where your "heart space" is in Bio 101!
